June 3, 1998

We admitted Mom to the nursing home today. I thought it was going to kill Dad to do it, it still might. When Mom was first diagnosed with Alzheimer’s, she made us swear that we would put her in a home when the time came. I was up all night praying that today she would remember the day she forced us to make that promise. No such luck. While we were packing up the memories of her life, she was trying to unpack from her honeymoon.

January 8, 2000

We buried Mom today. It’s not fair that we had so little time with her. I tried to say good bye, but how do you say goodbye to someone who doesn’t know who you are. I’m worried about Dad. He has us all taking fish oil, and keeps talking about diets. It’s almost like he is scared that he is going to have to watch us go through Alzheimer’s, and is determined to stop it. He has us trying every trick in the book to guard against it. I feel so stupid. I lost Mom a long time ago. How can it hurt so much now?

July 12, 2000

I’m pregnant! Kevin and I tried forever and now I am pregnant! We haven’t told anyone yet. Kevin wants to throw a party and tell everyone. I don’t know if I can keep it a secret that long. When I called him at work to tell him, he hung up on me. I was shocked. 20 minutes later he showed up here at home to whisk me away for a shopping spree. I will never forget the way he looked, deliberating over color schemes and nursery themes. My dad was always there for us. He played tea party and horsey. Billy and I never went without hugs. He was so involved with us growing up. They say that girls marry a man just like their father. Mom said she was the luckiest woman on Earth to find a man that was so tender with his children. I always thought it was odd that she never felt lucky because Dad was so good to her. Seeing Kevin picking over the stuffed toys today, I finally understood what she meant. Oh Mom, it’s just not fair that when I reach a point in my life to really know you that you are already gone.

September 2, 2000

Dad came over for dinner tonight. He showed up with an envelope addressed to the baby. In it was a check from Dad for $2000 and some information on something called cord blood banking. I didn’t quite get all he had to say about it. Apparently, they take blood from the umbilical cord when the baby is born. The blood is stored in a bank in case the baby needs it. It is supposed to help cure things like Alzheimer’s. Kevin and I agreed to look into it, but the whole thing sounds a little too Star Trek for me.

March 1, 2001

The kit for the cord blood collection came today. I am going to let Kevin open it. The whole thing still creeps me out a bit. We checked into the program and it is harmless. They are going to take the blood from the placenta and umbilical cord after the cord is clamped. It isn’t going to affect the baby’s birth one way or another. The idea of keeping stem cells around in a freezer is a bit hard for me to think about. There has been all this controversy over stem cell research. Up until now, the only way they could get hold of stem cells is through abortions. If these cells do what everyone thinks they will, it could be pretty amazing, but it still sounds ‘out there’ to me. And I hate to see Dad spending so much money on storage fees, but he does have the money. He seems to feel like he is doing something. So I guess it’s alright.

March 20, 2001

Andrew Allen was born today. I have never seen anything more beautiful and perfect than my baby boy. I am so tired, but I swear I could burst.

February 28, 2005

Well, I went to the doctor and found out why I was feeling so off. I am pregnant. Dad watched Andy for my appointment. I was going to tell Kevin first, but Dad knew the minute I walked in the door. We looked at each other and burst into tears. As I was getting Andy’s stuff together, Dad mentioned that he wanted pay for the baby’s cord blood again. I told him that I should tell Kevin he was going to be a dad before we start accepting gifts. I thought he had forgotten all of that. Andrew has been so healthy, I just don’t see the need. But then again, no one wins an argument with Dad.

October 31, 2005

Our bouncing baby girl was born today. She is just as perfect as her brother. We had the nurse ask for the baby’s name when Dad was in the room. We hadn’t told him that we decided to name her after Mom. I wish I could have gotten a picture of his face when Andy told the nurse that his sister was to be called Sara Elaine.

May 9, 2006

Sara has been in the NICU for four days now. The blisters are getting worse and she is developing pneumonia. The doctor says that she has something called Severe Combined Immunodeficiency. She is losing the cells that fight infection. They can’t use her cord blood because the stem cells may carry the same weakness, but there is a good chance that Andrew’s cord blood may be a match. If we can’t find a match…
We have a month to find her a match.

December 25, 2007

Dad, Kevin, and Andrew are out teaching Sara how to ride her first big girl bike. We caught her trying to take the wheel off her tricycle a few weeks ago. So Santa brought her a bike with training wheels. She is so fearless. She fights so hard to keep up with Andy.

Everyday, I swear she inches just a bit closer to closing that four year gap. She is so much like Mom.

Copyright 2008 Andrew Wilson. knowhow-now.com