June 3, 1998

We admitted Mom to the nursing home today. I thought it was going to kill Dad to do it, it still might. When Mom was first diagnosed with Alzheimer’s, she made us swear that we would put her in a home when the time came. I was up all night praying that today she would remember the day she forced us to make that promise. No such luck.
While we were packing up the memories of her life, she was trying to unpack from her honeymoon.

January 8, 2000

We buried Mom today. It’s not fair that we had so little time with her. I tried to say good bye, but how do you say goodbye to someone who doesn’t know who you are. I’m worried about Dad. He has us all taking fish oil, and keeps talking about diets. It’s almost like he is scared that he is going to have to watch us go through Alzheimer’s, and is determined to stop it. He has us trying every trick in the book to guard against it. I feel so stupid. I lost Mom a long time ago. How can it hurt so much now?

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